Join Me On the Journey

This blog has been quite an experience for me.

If you’ve been with me since the beginning, you may have noticed nearly constant little changes along the right side (called the sidebar). On the other hand, they may very well have gone unnoticed by many of you, but behind the scenes, I’ve had flashes of sheer terror as I have been messing around with the code that tells the computer how this site is supposed to look and act.

I have spent the last few months (between cooking and cleaning and chores and children) taking an online crash course on coding. I’ve worked through online courses and read several books. I have learned many things that allow me to make those changes to my website, and I have made some changes. But, it has been scary sometimes!

That first moment that I realized something I had tinkered with had caused a problem, I got that feeling in the pit of my stomach. (You know the one?) I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to fix it. I was afraid of what people would think when they visited the site. I was afraid because my hubby had already said, “You’re on your own with this one!” (He’s my computer guru, but he doesn’t know anything about programing.)

But, I’ve heard Joyce Meyer advise people, “Do some things afraid!”

Just think about that concept…Do some things afraid.

I must admit, that is something I have done quite a bit of my life. It could be part of my personality make-up. After all, I’m a fun-loving Sanguine whose natural tendency is to do things to stand out from the crowd. Or, perhaps it’s just a character attribute I developed early; a decision I made to try new things and learn as much as possible about them. Whatever the case, I just don’t mind that feeling in the pit of my stomach that tells me I’m treading new ground and I don’t know what’s coming over the next hill; in fact, I quite enjoy it.

I felt it the days I performed in piano competitions and when I decided that I would do a senior concert in high school.

I felt it when I left for college; and when I faltered and came home after my father left; and when I decided three years later to apply for medical school.

I felt it nearly every single day during medical school and internship and residency…and most days as a physician.

I feel it as a wife, a mommy and as a teacher to my children.

And I feel it now as a writer…and quasi web designer.

Now, I admit, there are times when I get tired of that feeling. There are times when I would just like to avoid it and live a peaceable life, but most of the time, I bask in doing things afraid!

You may not revel in that feeling as I do. But I would encourage you, doing things afraid can help you grow in areas of your life where you may be stagnant. You can learn so many lessons when the discomfort in your gut pushes you to find the answers you seek no matter what the cost.

Isaiah 43:5a says:

Fear not: for I am with thee: (KJV)

Now, this verse doesn’t tell you not to feel the fear. After all, that wouldn’t make sense. No one can go through this life never feeling fear. Instead, this verse tells you not to allow the fear to paralyze you; to be secure in the fact that God is with you always and so He will help you through that fear.

So…Be Afraid…Be Very Afraid! Ask God today what things He would have you do afraid.

Popularity: 14%

Did you know that there is only one thing in this life that you can control? Do you know what it is?

It’s that person you look at in the mirror every morning.

You cannot control world events. You cannot control the weather. You cannot control your hubby…or your kids…or your dear mother-in-law.

But…you can control your reactions to all those things. You can control what hours you are awake and how you use your time while you’re awake. You can control how you take care of yourself: whether you exercise, eat right, get enough sleep (unless, of course, you have a little one deciding this point for you). You can control the things you read, the things you see, the things you think about and focus upon.

So often in my life, I have found myself railing against those things I cannot change. This, as I’m sure you know, is incredibly exhausting and unproductive.

If you’re tired and bogged down, I encourage you to take a few moments to examine your life and assess whether you may be struggling to control things that you really cannot change.

“How do I do this?” you may ask. Well, it’s really not as hard as it may seem. All you need is a pen, a piece of paper (or your journal) and several minutes of uninterrupted time. If you work outside the home, take a few minutes during your lunch break. If you’re a full-time mommy, take blanket outside and sit on the ground while they’re playing near by.

Write at the top of the page: “What is REALLY bugging me about my life right now?”

Then, just begin to write. Don’t censer yourself; just write whatever comes to your mind. Give yourself a good amount of time; at least twenty to thirty minutes of continuous writing. The longer you allow yourself to write, the more effective you’ll find this exercise.

Now, some of you are so conditioned not to complain, this may be a hard exercise for you. If you have a hard time starting, begin by just simply writing, “I don’t know what to write…This is a stupid exercise…There’s nothing wrong with my life…Everything is wrong with my life, where do I start…I never did like that Tamera…” Whatever comes to your mind, just write. Don’t worry about your handwriting or punctuation. This is called stream of consciousness writing. There’s no mystery about it. It is simply writing down every word that comes to your mind as you’re thinking about a specific topic…like “What’s REALLY bugging me about my life right now?”

This is a powerful exercise and if you take the time to do it, you will discover powerful truths concerning how you’re truly feeling about some of the different aspects of your life.

So, I challenge you to “just do it.” It is so easy to read something like this and think, “I bet that would be interesting,” and then go on about your busy life. Put it on your “To Do” list. Purpose to fit it into your schedule some time in the next few days. Don’t put if off.

(This is a reposting from a couple of months ago, but it’s been on my mind again. I encourage you to perform this exercise intermittently. It really helps me to refocus.)

Popularity: 9%

I would like to invite you to read or download the next issue of my e-zine, Intentional Living! This issue is all about journaling.

As you can see, I have links to the current issue and past issues on the right as well as all the articles.

You may also visit my website and find this information.

If you would like to receive future issues automatically, there is a sign-up box at the right. I invite you to take advantage of this service. Signing up will also enable you to receive notification of each new blog post.

God Bless You!

Popularity: 4%

Today, I would like to continue my series on the book 25 Ways to Win With People. This book was written by John Maxwell and Les Parrott and it is a down-to-earth little book on how to get along with people and improve your people skills.

To review, the first chapter makes the point that in order to get along with other people, you need to start with yourself. The next chapter introduces the concept of the 30 second rule. At the end of this post, you’ll find links to these other posts. Just click on them and you can read the other blog entries, or click on “Winning With People” in the “Categories” section to the right and the posts will automatically come up on a separate page for you to read.

Point number three is let people know that you need them.
(read the rest of the article…)

Popularity: 6%

I have spent a great deal of time thinking about when and why true change occurs in a person. When I read, it’s what I notice. Even when I read a novel, I notice how the characters are growing and changing and what factors produce that change. I have read extensively about personality types, relationships, psychology, and parenting; and in everything I read, I am always thinking about what the author says about how and why people change.

This morning (while I was sweating away, red-faced on the treadmill ) I was listening to a podcast of Joyce Meyer who was interviewing John C. Maxwell and Les Parrott, PH.D. John Maxwell said something that filled in a piece of the puzzle for me and I wanted to share it with you.

There are three things that precipitate change in a person.

1. When you hurt enough, you have to change.
2. When you learn enough, you want to change.
3. When you receive enough, you are able to change.

Let’s think about these for a moment.

First of all, “When you hurt enough, you have to change.” This is the reason that I have focused on the most. I had in my head that the only time that people truly change is when they hit bottom and there’s no way out but up. I’ve been there…a couple of times. I understand what it’s like to feel my life was so bad that I needed to make a major change in order to go on. In fact, if you’ve read my blogs, you may have read comments like, “True change occurs when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.”

However, I realize now that the recent changes in my life have not been because of this first reason. My life is awesome right now. Nothing big, bad, and ugly precipitated the changes that began in November of 2006 and have culminated in my writing to you today. I realize that the recent changes in my life have occurred because of reasons two and three. I had learned and received enough that I was willing and able to change.

A few days ago, I wrote about my obsession with reading. (From Learner to Teacher) I take nuggets from nearly every book or article I read, or talk I listen to. I add those tidbits of information to the knowledge I had already acquired, reformulated them and as a result, I have come to this place in my life where I would love to have the opportunity to share all of it with you. That desire is burning in my heart.

A big part of what is spurring me on to write here is the possibility that I could help you change because I helped you learn enough to make you want to change; or because I provided you with enough information that you were able to change.

Can you think of a time when you’ve made significant change in your life? Tell us about it. Click the “comments” button below.

Popularity: 6%

I read a lot! I have always been a reader.

When I was a little girl, I read pages and pages of fiction. As I grew older, I began reading about different subjects: psychology, self-help books, personality types, success. A great deal of what I read in these areas was written by Christian authors.

I also read widely about subjects that are important to me. I read books about prayer and Bible study and quiet times. I started reading about homeschooling before Olivia was even born. I read about marriage building. I read about how to be a good mother and how to keep house.

It has also been my habit that each time I got interested in a new hobby, I bought books about that hobby. Consequently, I have a library in my home with large sections on photography, gardening, quilting, and numerous other subjects.

Like you, there is usually one or two points in a book or article that I read that really stick with me. However, when you add that all up, it gets to be a head stuffed full of tidbits about a diversity of topics. All those little tidbits are arranged in a manner peculiar to me. In the history of time, there is only one person who has read all the words that I have read and had all the experiences I have had.

That puts me in a very unique position; a position of sharing what I know with you from a very singular perspective.

On the other hand, I’m very much like most of you. I’m a Christian. I’m a woman. I’m a wife, a stay-at-home mom. I used to work outside the home in a fairly high-pressure job. And so, the wisdom that I have gained in my 41 years on this earth will translate easily into your life.

And that is why I have begun writing here. I have so much inside my head, it’s just bursting to get out! I feel like if I don’t begin sharing, my heart will explode. Writing here has been like a spillway letting pressure off the dam inside my head, LOL.

Writing here is also causing me to shift my paradigm from that of learner to that of teacher.

Now, some of you may not be familiar with the word paradigm. It’s an awesome word that simply means the set of assumptions, concepts, values, and practices that dictate the way you view your world. In other words, you are a product of your beliefs and decisions. The Bible puts it this way:

For as [a man] thinketh in his heart, so is he: Prov 23:7a (KJV)

A paradigm shift is that “aha” moment that you experience when you connect the dots in your mind. It’s that moment you finally learn that lesson that God has been trying to teach you. It’s the moment you read a scripture and it speaks something totally different to you than the last time you read it. It’s that moment that you realize that your husband really does mean it when he says he’s thinking about nothing. (see my entry In the Box With No Words)

I realized this morning that this forum is a paradigm shift for me. I am going from the mindset of a learner, or a gatherer of information; to the mindset of a teacher, or a sharer of information.

Now anyone who has prepared any type of a lesson knows that when you look at information with a mind toward teaching the material to someone else, you look at the material differently. You actually learn information more thoroughly when you know that you are going to be teaching it to someone else–whether formally or informally.

For that very reason, I look forward to great changes in my life from this website. As I share with you, I expect to become more focused and accountable. I look forward to feedback and critique. I know that sharing with you will make me a better person, and I pray it will benefit you as it does me.

Have a great day!

Popularity: 6%

As I continue to share in this forum, I find I am sometimes fearful. So, this morning, I began to think: what exactly is fear?

Whenever I think of fear, the first thing that comes to my mind is I John 4:18:

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love. (KJV)

In the past, I have looked at this verse as, “You need to get rid of the fear because it shows a lack of faith.” That attitude is a little like taking an aspirin for a headache without regard to the primary cause of the headache.

As a physician, this was a daily part of my practice. We doctors understand so much more about the workings of the human body than we did even 20 years ago, yet there is still so much we don’t understand. So, we treat the symptoms instead of the cause.

A good example would be high blood pressure. There are a few things that we know can induce hypertension (or high blood pressure), but the majority of people are diagnosed with Essential Hypertension. This is a fancy way of saying, “We don’t know what’s causing your high blood pressure, but we’re pretty sure it’s bad for you, so here. Take this pill.” We treat the symptom without addressing the cause.

Often, I do the same thing with fear. I recognize it is there, but then I try to “take a pill.” I do that by turning to God as I described a moment ago; or I distract myself with the television or the computer or a dozen other things. I’ll do anything to avoid defining the source of my fear.

So, this morning, I took a look at it. What is the cause of the fear that I’ve been feeling?

For me, I fear that those who knew me as a doctor, are going the think the life I live now is foolish.

There’s a line from a movie I saw once, “Lo, how are the mighty fallen.” And I hear the actor admonishing me sometimes when I’m mucking out the chicken coop or sitting down to milk the goats or now when I’m writing my heart out. I wonder what they would think if they could see me and read about how much I enjoy my life the way I’m living it now.

I also wonder what my family will think. They know me, after all. They know the good, the bad…and a lot of ugly.

So, what’s the answer? I wish I knew. For right now, I’m acknowledging the fear, defining it, and trying to push past it…and I’m hoping.

I hope that my words reach women and help them in their struggle to make lasting changes in their lives. I hope that I will grow and stretch as a writer. But, most of all, I hope that people will see God in me…and not just me.

Popularity: 5%

Have you ever noticed how quickly something can become “old hat?” Perhaps it’s just a personal quirk of mine. (I do tend to live so much in the present that I forget what I had for breakfast, LOL.) But, I am frequently amazed that I cannot easily remember what my life was like before major changes occurred.

I will be married only eight years on the 13th, but, I have already forgotten what it felt like to be single. I have four incredible children and already, I have forgotten what it felt like before I was a mommy. I worked for nearly ten years as a physician, and I have to stop and remind myself what it felt like to work outside the home.

There have also been people who have come into my life and influenced me–not directly, but via their teaching. Andrew Wommack is a big one. I have literally listened to hundreds of hours of his teaching and it has changed my life. Recently, I have been receiving from the ministry of Cindy Rushton and many of the people she is affiliated with.

And, I have been writing here for just a few weeks, and already, sharing my thoughts here seems old hat…like I’ve been doing it all my life…something that fits me and feels so comfy. Now, perhaps that’s not exactly what you think of when you hear the phrase “old hat.” Perhaps you think of something that’s out-dated and out of fashion. But, that’s what I think of, and I have found myself using that phrase over and over again in my life.

What is it about people (or, maybe just me, LOL) that makes us fall so naturally into a new situation? Is it part of how God created us? All animals were created to adapt to their environment. Is it a defense? If we didn’t have that tendency, would we always be looking back?

I think that part of it is my personality. I am a sanguine poster child. I would never have been like Lot’s wife; looking back and grieving over my lost life. (Of course, I may very well have looked back because I was dying of curiosity! )

But, part if it is just human nature. Life often sneaks up on us. We live day after day and before we realize it, we’re in a different place. Often, not a place we purposed to go.

That’s why it’s so incredibly important to live life and not let life live you. Stop and think! Think about your dreams. Write them down. Purpose to walk toward them.

There have been times in my life when I’ve just curled up in a ball and not moved forward at all. There have been times when all I could accomplish was to put one foot in front of the other without regard to where I was going. But, now that I am strong; and now that I have a husband who loves me with all his heart and children that think I’m the cat’s meow (you remember though, they’re only little yet, LOL ); now, I am ready to move forward. I’m ready to walk toward the dream that I have of reaching out and touching others with the experiences I’ve had and the wisdom that God has given me in my 40 years on this planet. (I can say that because I won’t be 41 until next Tuesday, LOL.)

I hope that your life will be changed through something I write here. Perhaps someday, you’ll say, “I can’t remember what my life was like before I ‘met’ Tamera on the internet.”

Popularity: 4%

OK. I finally realized last night while I was listening to the audio from Cindy Rushton’s writing seminar that I don’t yet have the tools I need to start seriously writing.

What a relief! I was thinking it was just me being indecisive and lazy!

From the time of the seminar until now, I have been just burning…wanting to start writing…wanting to start ministering, and yet I found myself hesitating and restless. Now, I understand why.

Writing is a process. There are logical steps. Until I learn those steps, I run the risk of foundering.

So, I’ll be patient. I’ll just sit at the feet of Jesus and write in my journals and my blog; work on my website and learn the mechanics of writing from a great lady who has been kind enought to offer to teach them to me and others.

Popularity: 3%