Join Me On the Journey

Today, I would like to continue my series on the book 25 Ways to Win With People. This book was written by John Maxwell and Les Parrott and it is a down-to-earth little book on how to get along with people and improve your people skills.

To review, the first chapter makes the point that in order to get along with other people, you need to start with yourself. The next chapter introduces the concept of the 30 second rule. At the end of this post, you’ll find links to these other posts. Just click on them and you can read the other blog entries, or click on “Winning With People” in the “Categories” section to the right and the posts will automatically come up on a separate page for you to read.

Point number three is let people know that you need them.
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My friend, Phyllis Sather has written a wonderful post that I would love for you to read called A Gift Of Encouragement.

It is a beautiful example of a point from a book I am reading, 25 Ways to Win With People. Drs Maxwell and Parrott talk about a principle called “The 30 Second Rule” which says that within 30 seconds of beginning a conversation with someone, say something encouraging to that person.

Now, this isn’t natural for most people. Actually, when you talk about temperaments, it’s easy for a Sanguine, but much harder for any other personality type. That is why this really speaks to me. It’s something that comes naturally to me.

But, you can learn to do something that doesn’t necessarily feel natural to you, so read Phyllis’ post and pray about it. It will feel awkward and perhaps “fakey” at first, but stick with it. Begin to incorporate this behavior into your life and see how it builds up those in your life and also increases your influence with people in general.

Also, today is the release of the second issue of my e-zine, Intentional Living! all about temperaments. Click HERE for a copy.

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I’m reading a great book right now. The title is 25 Ways to Win With People by John C. Maxwell and Les Parrot, PH.D. The premise of the book is that there are tangible things that you can do to have better relationships.

The book begins by exhorting you to start with yourself. Neil Clark Warren has said “Your relationships can only be as healthy as you are.”

The Bible teaches this concept as part of the two great commandments.

Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets. Matt 22:37-41 (KJV)

Now, we all know that this can be taken to excess. There is such a thing as loving yourself too much. In fact, the natural human tendency is toward selfishness. Romans 12:3 exhorts us not to think of ourselves more highly than we ought.

On the other hand, that is not the problem with most of us. As women, we tend to be just the opposite. Many of us have been wounded by people who have injured us with words and deeds and it’s difficult to overcome those wounds.

But, it can be done.

And, it should be done.

And, the reason is this: when you value yourself, you will have more to give to others.

Isn’t that the desire of our hearts? to have more to give to those we love?

Take a few moments to think about how much you truly value yourself. Are you spending regular time with God? Do you regularly take time to recharge and refresh? Are you taking the time to learn new things? Do you regularly evaluate your life to determine the need for a course correction? Do you have people in your life who build you up rather than tear you down? Are you spending too much time listening to those voices from the past (or even the present) that are telling you that you’re no good?

This is a long list of questions and perhaps reading it does nothing but raise your stress level. I’m not telling you that you need to do all these things today. I’m just saying that these are some of the ways to fill your cup so that you can pour out and provide for the people you love.

I would encourage you to pray about what God wants you to focus on right now.

We’re all in a different place in our lives. Some of us are already having a regular quiet time with God. Some of us may need to focus on that first. I believe that having that regular quiet time is crucial because when we have that regular time with God, He can show us what we need to do next.

Some of us have toxic people in our lives right now that we need to deal with.

Some of us need to exercise our brain and learn something new…something we’re interested in learning “just for the fun of it.” (Some of us need to exercise our bodies, LOL.)

Take a moment today to stop and think about what your greatest personal need is right now. Write it down and come up with a plan to meet that need.

If you’re stuck, I would be happy to receive your specific question and give a suggestion. E-mail me.

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