Join Me On the Journey

I don’t understand prayer.

It seems so strange to admit that. I have been a Christian since I was a little girl and you would think that prayer would be such a natural part of my life by now, but it isn’t. I have to work at it. And I really don’t understand it.

So, I’m embarking on a journey…a journey to understand prayer.

To understand something means to to perceive the meaning of; grasp the idea of; comprehend; to be thoroughly familiar with; apprehend clearly the subtleties of; to grasp the significance, implications, or importance of.

I can give a definition of prayer, but I don’t really perceive the meaning of it, or grasp the full significance of it. I can read about other people’s experience in prayer, but I cannot say that I have truly experienced prayer in my life.

I have been very sporadic in prayer over my years as a Christian. There have been times in my life, when I was walking my own way, when I would go days without even thinking about God, let alone praying. Now, I have a prayer notebook where I write down the prayer requests that I have, but it’s hard for me to sit down and really concentrate on those requests. I end up just listing them off, and I just don’t think that is what God has in mind.

I do, however, keep a running conversation with God. When I journal, I am talking to God. My journals are like a letter to Him. And I call on Him many times a day when I feel overwhelmed with life or impatient with the children.

So, I am going to focus on prayer for the remainder of the 21 Day Reformation.

I am going to be rereading the book Let Prayer Change Your Life by Becky Tirabassi. It is a book that I read many years ago and I followed the principles at the time and I had a lot of success in my prayer life, but I wasn’t committed and it slipped away.

I’m determined for it to “stick” this time! So, I’ll work toward that these 21 days…and beyond.

Does anyone want to journey with me? We could form an accountability group…wouldn’t that be fun????? Let me know in the comments or by e-mailing me if you are interested. I would really like some company.

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So, you have taken the personality test and you’re wondering what to do with the information. Well, I’d like to address that today.

If you don’t know your temperament, please email me with the words “personality test” in the subject line and I will give you the instructions on how to take an online personality test. In the post Temperament, Character, and Persona I define temperament for you. Also my last issue of Intentional Living! was all about temperament. Click here for a copy.

When you take the test, you’ll automatically receive an email with a list of strengths and weaknesses. Here is what I would suggest you do with that list.
(read the rest of the article…)

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I love watching birds. I suppose I like nature in general, but I love birds especially. I find that I learn so much from God’s creation.

As in all of God’s creation, there is a great deal of diversity in behavior among the different species of birds, but there is a particular behavior that some species exhibit that I find interesting. Did you know that some bird species, when it’s time for their little ones to leave the nest, start to pull out all the soft fibers and feathers and fur? This leaves only the pokey sticks and it makes the nest uncomfortable for the baby bird which serves to motivate them to leave the nest.

Are you feeling uncomfortable in your nest?

Do you ever have those times when you’re going along in life and things are feeling pretty good; your nest feels comfy. Your family is healthy, everyone is getting along; your marriage is stable; your homeschooling is sailing along; your house is clean; your career is on track…and then, one day, you wake up and it just seems like things are uncomfortable. You readjust a little; perhaps you need to go on a date with your hubby, or one of the children needs a little extra attention; perhaps there’s something you’ve been putting off; a bill you haven’t paid; that closet you need to clean. So, you take care of it. But, the nest is still uncomfortable.

What then?

Might I suggest that this could be a sign that you need to fledge? According to Wikipedia, Fledge is the stage in a young bird’s life when the feathers and wing muscles are sufficiently developed for flight. Could it be that your discomfort is from your Father who is trying to get you to leave the nest by making it just a little bit uncomfortable?

God Bless You!

If you’re feeling uncomfortable, take some time to journal about it in your quiet time. Pray about it and ask God to reveal the underlying cause. He is so faithful to do that for us.

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I’m reading a great book right now. The title is 25 Ways to Win With People by John C. Maxwell and Les Parrot, PH.D. The premise of the book is that there are tangible things that you can do to have better relationships.

The book begins by exhorting you to start with yourself. Neil Clark Warren has said “Your relationships can only be as healthy as you are.”

The Bible teaches this concept as part of the two great commandments.

Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets. Matt 22:37-41 (KJV)

Now, we all know that this can be taken to excess. There is such a thing as loving yourself too much. In fact, the natural human tendency is toward selfishness. Romans 12:3 exhorts us not to think of ourselves more highly than we ought.

On the other hand, that is not the problem with most of us. As women, we tend to be just the opposite. Many of us have been wounded by people who have injured us with words and deeds and it’s difficult to overcome those wounds.

But, it can be done.

And, it should be done.

And, the reason is this: when you value yourself, you will have more to give to others.

Isn’t that the desire of our hearts? to have more to give to those we love?

Take a few moments to think about how much you truly value yourself. Are you spending regular time with God? Do you regularly take time to recharge and refresh? Are you taking the time to learn new things? Do you regularly evaluate your life to determine the need for a course correction? Do you have people in your life who build you up rather than tear you down? Are you spending too much time listening to those voices from the past (or even the present) that are telling you that you’re no good?

This is a long list of questions and perhaps reading it does nothing but raise your stress level. I’m not telling you that you need to do all these things today. I’m just saying that these are some of the ways to fill your cup so that you can pour out and provide for the people you love.

I would encourage you to pray about what God wants you to focus on right now.

We’re all in a different place in our lives. Some of us are already having a regular quiet time with God. Some of us may need to focus on that first. I believe that having that regular quiet time is crucial because when we have that regular time with God, He can show us what we need to do next.

Some of us have toxic people in our lives right now that we need to deal with.

Some of us need to exercise our brain and learn something new…something we’re interested in learning “just for the fun of it.” (Some of us need to exercise our bodies, LOL.)

Take a moment today to stop and think about what your greatest personal need is right now. Write it down and come up with a plan to meet that need.

If you’re stuck, I would be happy to receive your specific question and give a suggestion. E-mail me.

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A few days ago, I encouraged you to spend some time listing the things that are truly bothering you about your life.

Did you do it?

If not, I would encourage you to read Control and perform this exercise.

Once you have your pages written, go back through and re-read them.

(Ideally, a little time should pass between performing this exercise and evaluating the content. It also works best if you do it without a preconceived notion of what you’re going to be doing with the material, so I would encourage you to perform the exercise before you finish reading this.)

Do you see some common threads? Did you make some discoveries that surprised you?

On another piece of paper (or in another page of your journal) make a list of the items you discovered. Look at each item and determine whether you control that thing or not.

If you’re unsure about whether you have control over that item on your list, just ask yourself, “Is there another person involved?” If so, you do not have total control over that item.

There are likely things over which you have no control. Again, you cannot control world events, or natural laws (such as the weather), or another person’s behavior. One way to make these problems less stressful is to change your attitude. You must work to come to a place where you accept what you cannot change. (remember the Serenity Prayer?)

There are likely several items over which you have only partial control. For example, if there is a relationship in your life that is troubled, you do have partial control over that situation. You can control how you feel about that person. You can control how you react to their behavior. You can become proactive in your response to their behavior.

Lastly, it is probable that you have items on your list over which you have total control. If much of your list contains things you can totally control, you are truly blessed.

When you have divided your list into things over which you have no control, things you partially control, and things you totally control; pick a place to start.

Start with the thing that’s really bugging you the most. Or, perhaps you discover a common theme to your list. You may discover your problems separate themselves naturally into different categories than I have suggested here. Remember, this is your list; your life. I am suggesting one way to tackle this list but you may intuitively follow a different trail. That is between you and God.

This is your journey and it begins with one step. Small, deliberate changes can have a big effect in your life.

One year from now, God willing (and He is), you will be a year older. You can determine today (and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow) if you will be a year older with the same problems plaguing your life; or if you will be a year older with some of those problems taken care of.

I want very much to walk with you on this journey. The first edition of my e-zine will be coming out tomorrow and I will be talking about habits. Habits are the smallest units of change. Taking one of the items on your list, breaking it down into something small that you can change, and weaving that new habit into your life is a way that you can become proactive and make profound changes for the better.

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It never ceases to amaze me how practical the Bible is. I find that sometimes, I can skip right over a phrase or a sentence while I’m “getting to the good stuff.” But, tucked away in James chapter 5, in a paragraph about prayer, there is this little phrase:

Confess your faults one to another, James 5:16a (KJV)

Now, this is such practical advice, and yet, in our culture, it can be so hard to follow. We live in a culture where image is everything. Even in the church, we aren’t often transparent with each other. We don’t want other Christians to know that we haven’t had our quiet time for weeks on end, that we are struggling in our marriage, and our kids are out of control.

We go to church, “How are you this morning?” “Oh, I’m doing great, how are you?” “Oh, fine, just fine.” I am so guilty of this, and I’ll bet you are, too.

Now I’m not saying that you need to spill your guts to the greeter every Sunday morning. But, what I am saying is that you need to find other women whom you can trust to confess your faults.

Confession accomplishes many purposes. Defining a problem goes a long way toward fixing it. Sometimes, just saying something out loud helps you to see it more clearly and then you can deal with it. Often, when you say it aloud, it’s not nearly as bad as it seems when it’s hidden inside your heart. You’ll often find that other women have thought the same thought or done the same thing or had the same or similar experience.

For many years, I didn’t have another woman to confide in. As a physician, I had little time outside the office to form relationships with other women. I know that those of you who work outside the home must struggle with that as well. The moment you walk out of work, you have family responsibilities. We’re just so busy that there is no time to find someone you can trust to “confess” to.

When I came home, I was the only woman (of childbearing age, LOL) who was home all day, so I faced the opposite problem; there wasn’t really anyone I could relate to.

After (literally) years of prayer, I finally have a few friends I can trust who live close enough for me to see regularly. It has been so wonderful to have those women in my life.

The Bible says:

For none of us liveth to himself, and no man dieth to himself. Rom 14:7 (KJV)

No woman is an island.

Do you have women in your life with whom you can share? Tell us about her. Click the “comments” button below.

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Did you know that God is a canner?

Now, many of you who LOVE to can, must have already known this, but it was news to me!

I wrote a few days ago about the fact that when you accept Christ, your spirit is made righteous and holy.

“…put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness.” Ephesians 4:24

At that moment, your spirit is instantly changed as it talks of in II Corinthians 5:17.

Therefore, if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: behold all things are become new.

Our spirit is then “sealed” with the Holy Spirit as it says in Ephesians 1:13:

In whom (in Christ) ye also trusted, after that ye heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation: in whom also after that ye believed, ye were sealed with that holy Spirit of promise,

Now, the word sealed can have several different meanings. For example, you can stamp an official seal on a document to warn people not to open it. And this is the way that several other versions I looked at translate this passage.

However, you can also take an illustration from canning. When you put up jelly, you “seal” the fruit with paraffin. The paraffin keeps out contaminants. In the same way, our spirit is sealed with the Holy Spirit and this protects us from the sin that we continue to commit despite our best efforts.

My spirit is sealed by the Holy Spirit and no impurities can come in and contaminate it. Why is this so important? Because my spirit is the part of me that communicates with God.

Thank You, Holy Spirit, for sealing my spirit! Amen

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