Join Me On the Journey

I wonder…Did God miss me when I wandered so far away all those years? Did He grieve when there were times that I didn’t thank Him for the life He had given me and I didn’t ask Him what would be the best next step in my life? I wonder, did He miss me when there were triumphs in my life that I didn’t share with Him? I wonder, did He grieve when, in the lowest times of my life, I didn’t call out to Him for help?

As I share each and every day with my children, I think sometimes about how God feels. I see my children discover new things and connect ideas. What is the absolute first thing that they do? “MOMMY! Clarissa’s having kittens!!!!” “Mommy, why are the guineas fighting?” Mommy, what does outdistance mean?” “MOMMY, Sophia fell out of the tree!”

Every day, a thousand times a day, my children come to me with their pains, their frustrations, their questions, their triumphs…sometimes just for reassurance. Yes, it’s overwhelming sometimes, but mostly, it is just precious.

And every day, my children tell me in so many ways how much they love me. I’m a very touchy-feely, verbal person. (Sanguine ) Two of the four children are like me in that respect, and several times a day, they will spontaneously say, “Mommy, I love you!” I never get tired of hearing it.

I think God must be like that, too. He must never get tired of hearing that I love Him. He must really want me to share every little thing in my life with Him.

Today, I have asked forgiveness for all the time I spent shutting God out of my life and I made a new commitment to include Him in every aspect of my life. Won’t you Join Me On the Journey?

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Today, I would like to continue my series on the book 25 Ways to Win With People. This book was written by John Maxwell and Les Parrott and it is a down-to-earth little book on how to get along with people and improve your people skills.

To review, the first chapter makes the point that in order to get along with other people, you need to start with yourself. The next chapter introduces the concept of the 30 second rule. At the end of this post, you’ll find links to these other posts. Just click on them and you can read the other blog entries, or click on “Winning With People” in the “Categories” section to the right and the posts will automatically come up on a separate page for you to read.

Point number three is let people know that you need them.
(read the rest of the article…)

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My friend, Phyllis Sather has written a wonderful post that I would love for you to read called A Gift Of Encouragement.

It is a beautiful example of a point from a book I am reading, 25 Ways to Win With People. Drs Maxwell and Parrott talk about a principle called “The 30 Second Rule” which says that within 30 seconds of beginning a conversation with someone, say something encouraging to that person.

Now, this isn’t natural for most people. Actually, when you talk about temperaments, it’s easy for a Sanguine, but much harder for any other personality type. That is why this really speaks to me. It’s something that comes naturally to me.

But, you can learn to do something that doesn’t necessarily feel natural to you, so read Phyllis’ post and pray about it. It will feel awkward and perhaps “fakey” at first, but stick with it. Begin to incorporate this behavior into your life and see how it builds up those in your life and also increases your influence with people in general.

Also, today is the release of the second issue of my e-zine, Intentional Living! all about temperaments. Click HERE for a copy.

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Today is my little boy’s birthday! He turns three. I no longer have two two year olds, LOL.

What can I say about my little Josiah except that he is the spitting image of his father…in nearly every way. He looks like his father, he acts like his father.

It’s so funny to live in the area where Dana grew up, because any time we see someone, they will say, “I cannot believe how much he looks like Dana did at that age!” (It happens all the time!) I tell people that I was just the incubator, he’s really a clone.

In 2003-2004, while I was pregnant with Josiah, I was still working and I was having a lot of medical problems. I had been diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis and I was on weekly injections of a medication that was keeping me functioning well enough to work, but that was about it. They didn’t understand why the RA was flaring during pregnancy. (It tends to get better with pregnancy.) Nonetheless, it was not good.

I didn’t realize it, but I was suffering from sleep apnea. (Doctors really are the worst patients! I didn’t share with anyone the extent of the problems I was having; neither did I put two and two together and consciously realize that I was suffering from sleep apnea. DUH!) In the office, I would literally fall asleep standing up while I was dictating an office note after seeing a patient. I know that is so hard to believe, but it’s true.

I was driving back and forth from Jamestown to Kintyre, ND a couple times a week (about 80 miles). I cannot describe how hard it is to drive when you are literally falling asleep at the wheel several times during a trip driving 75 miles per hour down the interstate. I try not to think about the fact that my children were in danger every time I got behind the wheel with them. There were times when I would stop about every 15 or 20 miles and get out and walk around, trying to wake up enough to drive. (Just thinking about it makes me shudder!)

I was working and trying to keep two houses. The girls were in daycare–which I hated. (Good grief! This is depressing!)

Anyway, suffice it to say, things were not going well. I was letting my partners and my patients down because I was struggling so much with medical problems. I was letting my family down because I was spread so thin. And, I didn’t have anything resembling a relationship with God. I don’t know how I ever got through that time except by His Grace.

I had planned to quit in 2005 when Olivia turned five, but I began to realize that there was a very real chance I wouldn’t make it that long…physically, emotionally, or spiritually. Dana and I made the decision that I would quit right before Josiah was born. It was one of the best decisions that we ever made.

Shortly after Josiah was born, I was finally diagnosed with severe sleep apnea. I was placed on CPAP and I have also lost weight which helps as well. I still have a lot of muscle fatigue and joint pain, but I think that the diagnosis of Rheumatoid Arthritis was incorrect. (It is difficult to diagnose RA because there really is not a definitive test for it.) I’m on no medication for the RA and my symptoms are manageable.

I look back to that time in my life and I cannot believe how things have changed. I am a much better wife and mother. I have the time and energy for my family. Dana and I are growing closer. Olivia, Sophia, and I are well down the path of our homeschool journey. I have two beautiful, incredible, active, squealing, squabbling toddlers. And most importantly, my relationship with God is so much better…and getting better every day.

Life is good! I am so happy now. I thank my precious Father for bringing me through that time. I know that He must have carried me. There is no other way I could have survived it.

God Bless You today! I hope that you have a great day. I know that we will. Josiah will be Prince For A Day!

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Several weeks ago, I was out in the early morning doing chores. As I was walking from the house to the chicken coop, I looked toward the East, and I was greeted with a most amazing sunrise. All around, the trees were covered with hoar frost. The sun wasn’t peeking up yet, but the sky was a light green-blue. There were low clouds on the horizon painted in soft shades of pink and purple and orange and yellow. It was breathtaking…spectacular.

As I stopped to drink in the sight, it occurred to me that no other person on the earth would ever see the same sight that I was gazing upon at that moment in time. It would never come again, and even if there were other people who were out in the early morning, watching the sunrise through frost covered trees, their view would be different because they were looking from a different place on the earth.

And I stopped for a moment, and I asked God, “Why? Why would you create something so incredibly beautiful that only I will see?” And I heard Him say to my spirit, “Because I love you. And because it’s My way of giving you a hug.”

For just a moment, I caught a glimpse of just how much God loves me.

And, He loves you that much, too.

Have you ever had a moment when the love of God has been so real to you? Please tell your story. Click on “Comments” below and share.

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As I continue to share in this forum, I find I am sometimes fearful. So, this morning, I began to think: what exactly is fear?

Whenever I think of fear, the first thing that comes to my mind is I John 4:18:

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love. (KJV)

In the past, I have looked at this verse as, “You need to get rid of the fear because it shows a lack of faith.” That attitude is a little like taking an aspirin for a headache without regard to the primary cause of the headache.

As a physician, this was a daily part of my practice. We doctors understand so much more about the workings of the human body than we did even 20 years ago, yet there is still so much we don’t understand. So, we treat the symptoms instead of the cause.

A good example would be high blood pressure. There are a few things that we know can induce hypertension (or high blood pressure), but the majority of people are diagnosed with Essential Hypertension. This is a fancy way of saying, “We don’t know what’s causing your high blood pressure, but we’re pretty sure it’s bad for you, so here. Take this pill.” We treat the symptom without addressing the cause.

Often, I do the same thing with fear. I recognize it is there, but then I try to “take a pill.” I do that by turning to God as I described a moment ago; or I distract myself with the television or the computer or a dozen other things. I’ll do anything to avoid defining the source of my fear.

So, this morning, I took a look at it. What is the cause of the fear that I’ve been feeling?

For me, I fear that those who knew me as a doctor, are going the think the life I live now is foolish.

There’s a line from a movie I saw once, “Lo, how are the mighty fallen.” And I hear the actor admonishing me sometimes when I’m mucking out the chicken coop or sitting down to milk the goats or now when I’m writing my heart out. I wonder what they would think if they could see me and read about how much I enjoy my life the way I’m living it now.

I also wonder what my family will think. They know me, after all. They know the good, the bad…and a lot of ugly.

So, what’s the answer? I wish I knew. For right now, I’m acknowledging the fear, defining it, and trying to push past it…and I’m hoping.

I hope that my words reach women and help them in their struggle to make lasting changes in their lives. I hope that I will grow and stretch as a writer. But, most of all, I hope that people will see God in me…and not just me.

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I thought that since tomorrow is my Anniversary, I would tell the story about how my husband and I met.

At the time, I was working as a locum tenens physician. Locum tenens is Latin for “holds the place of.” In other words, a locum physician works temporary jobs while a clinic or hospital is looking for a full time physician or if another physician is on extended leave.

I was having a fine time traveling all around the Midwest working in Wisconsin, Michigan, and North Dakota. When I came to Jamestown, North Dakota, I was only planning on a three month stay. I guess God had other plans.

Dana and I met via that internet at a Christian singles site and started e-mailing. Very quickly, we realized that we wanted to get to know each other better. We exchanged phone numbers and began talking. A few weeks later, August 20th, we had our first date and we quickly realized that we had a similar background and upbringing. We also shared a strong faith in God.

He’s fond of reminding me that when we first met, I told him honestly that I was only planning on being in Jamestown until October. I also said that I didn’t want children and he remembers being very disappointed on both points. Since I was already 32, I had given up on the idea of having children and had convinced myself that I didn’t want them after all.

My time at the Jamestown clinic was drawing to a close, but they still hadn’t signed another physician, so I extended my stay.

In October, instead of moving on to another state, I became engaged. The next March, we married…on my birthday…so I could remember our anniversary. (I’m terrible at remembering dates!)

Now, I wouldn’t necessarily recommend that people do what we did, LOL. We met in the summer of 1998, got married in March of 1999 and had our first baby a year later in May of 2000. Having a series of major life changes–even good ones–is very stressful.

We’ve had a few bumps in the road, but thank heaven, he’s so very kind, patient, and understanding. It’s so wonderful to be married to a man who has always been so supportive of any dream a set my face toward.

Over the last couple of years, I have come to realize that I haven’t been the best wife I could be. I find it so hard to juggle everything. (Would you like a little cheese with your whine, Tamera?)

When I worked outside the home, I had a very demanding job. What’s more, I commuted to Jamestown 80 miles one way! During part of the time, we had two houses; one that we were renting in Jamestown, and our home in rural Kintyre.

When I quit my job, I had a newborn, a two year old and a four year old. I didn’t have a handle on how to keep house…or on how to keep a husband. I didn’t make time for him. My priorities were all out of whack.

I also had a lot of emotional baggage that needed to be unpacked, evaluated, and dealt with. How he has hung on through those difficult months in my life, I’ll never know this side of heaven.

But, I thank God that he has hung on. I thank God that his commitment to our marriage is stronger than my attempts to push him away. I thank God for him every day!

Happy Anniversary, Dana!

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Did you know that most of the time when you ask your husband, “Whatcha thinkin’ ’bout?” and he says, “Nothin’,” he’s actually telling the truth?

I don’t know about you, but that used to DRIVE ME CRAZY until I went a marriage conference at our church. I knew there were differences between men and women. It’s actually an interest of mine and I do a lot of reading on the subject. However, understanding this one concept has made my life so much better.

You see, men are like waffles. Waffles, you may ask? Yes, waffles.

You all know what a waffle looks like as viewed from the top; all those little boxes in a row with walls between them, all neat and separate. Each little box represents an aspect of your man’s life: his job, his hobbies, television, you, the kids.

When he’s in a box, that’s what he’s thinking about, experiencing, solving (because we all know that’s what he loves to do best), conquering, working out. He’s not thinking about anything but what’s in that box. He’s “in the zone!”

But the real trick is, that lucky guy can go into a box with no words. He can actually go to a place where he’s not thinking about ANYTHING. Can you imagine being able to go to a place where you didn’t have a thousand things running through your head at one time?

I’ve asked lots of guys about this and they all say it’s true. This is the one and only thing about being a man that I envy!

So, the next time that you ask your hubby, “Whatcha thinkin’ ’bout?” and he says, “Nothin’,” remember that he’s most likely telling the truth.

Read all about it: Men Are Like Waffles–Women Are Like Spaghetti by Bill and Pam Farrell

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Have you ever noticed how quickly something can become “old hat?” Perhaps it’s just a personal quirk of mine. (I do tend to live so much in the present that I forget what I had for breakfast, LOL.) But, I am frequently amazed that I cannot easily remember what my life was like before major changes occurred.

I will be married only eight years on the 13th, but, I have already forgotten what it felt like to be single. I have four incredible children and already, I have forgotten what it felt like before I was a mommy. I worked for nearly ten years as a physician, and I have to stop and remind myself what it felt like to work outside the home.

There have also been people who have come into my life and influenced me–not directly, but via their teaching. Andrew Wommack is a big one. I have literally listened to hundreds of hours of his teaching and it has changed my life. Recently, I have been receiving from the ministry of Cindy Rushton and many of the people she is affiliated with.

And, I have been writing here for just a few weeks, and already, sharing my thoughts here seems old hat…like I’ve been doing it all my life…something that fits me and feels so comfy. Now, perhaps that’s not exactly what you think of when you hear the phrase “old hat.” Perhaps you think of something that’s out-dated and out of fashion. But, that’s what I think of, and I have found myself using that phrase over and over again in my life.

What is it about people (or, maybe just me, LOL) that makes us fall so naturally into a new situation? Is it part of how God created us? All animals were created to adapt to their environment. Is it a defense? If we didn’t have that tendency, would we always be looking back?

I think that part of it is my personality. I am a sanguine poster child. I would never have been like Lot’s wife; looking back and grieving over my lost life. (Of course, I may very well have looked back because I was dying of curiosity! )

But, part if it is just human nature. Life often sneaks up on us. We live day after day and before we realize it, we’re in a different place. Often, not a place we purposed to go.

That’s why it’s so incredibly important to live life and not let life live you. Stop and think! Think about your dreams. Write them down. Purpose to walk toward them.

There have been times in my life when I’ve just curled up in a ball and not moved forward at all. There have been times when all I could accomplish was to put one foot in front of the other without regard to where I was going. But, now that I am strong; and now that I have a husband who loves me with all his heart and children that think I’m the cat’s meow (you remember though, they’re only little yet, LOL ); now, I am ready to move forward. I’m ready to walk toward the dream that I have of reaching out and touching others with the experiences I’ve had and the wisdom that God has given me in my 40 years on this planet. (I can say that because I won’t be 41 until next Tuesday, LOL.)

I hope that your life will be changed through something I write here. Perhaps someday, you’ll say, “I can’t remember what my life was like before I ‘met’ Tamera on the internet.”

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Recently, I have realized something that has just set me free. There is a difference between schedules and routines. Either will work, depending on your situation and temperament.

You see, I had struggled for YEARS to try and “get myself on a schedule.” I tried to knuckle myself under. I tried to “be a good soldier.” I had the best of intentions, but it would only last for a few days. Having a schedule is just difficult for me. I am Sanguine and for those of you who know me or who know what that means when I say I’m Sanguine, I just don’t do well with a strict schedule. Gradually, I have realized, that I just function better with routines.

A routine is different from a schedule. A schedule says, “From 6:00 to 6:30, I have my quiet time. From 6:30 to 7:00, I walk on the treadmill,” and so on. A routine says, “When I get up in the morning, I have my quiet time, exercise and have my shower before the kids get up.” A schedule untilizes the clock, a routine utilizes blocks of time.

As the weeks have passed, I have combined both methods into my life and it’s working well. There are a few parts of my days that are scheduled but most of my day is made up of routines…certain things that happen during certain blocks of time. It has taken some experimentation and a willingness to try a different way of doing things, but I’m glad that I did. Life is quite a bit smoother now.

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