Join Me On the Journey

I don’t think that many of us can understand what it’s like to be a slave. In Exodus, the Israelites were in bondage for years when Moses first came to tell them that God was going to bring them out. Let’s take a peek at how they reacted to Moses’ message:

And the people believed: and when they heard that the LORD had visited the children of Israel, and that he had looked upon their affliction, then they bowed their heads and worshiped. Exo. 4:31 (KJV)

The Israelites listened to the message that Moses had from God and they worshiped Him.

Pharaoh wasn’t as impressed with God’s message. Instead of letting the Israelites take a break and go into the wilderness to worship God, he decided that they must have too much time on their hands. They were making bricks with mud and straw and until that time, the straw had been provided them. Pharaoh decreed that not only must they continue to make the same number of bricks, they must now gather the straw themselves.

After that, in Exodus 6:9, we see an entirely different reaction to Moses’ words.

And Moses spake so unto the children of Israel: but they hearkened not unto Moses for anguish of spirit, and for cruel bondage. (KJV)

The word here translated “for anguish of” means grief, or much discouraged, shortness or impatience. In other words, they didn’t listen to what Moses had to say because they were so grieved and discouraged that they no longer even wanted to hear what he had to say.

Have you ever been there? Have you ever been so discouraged and grieved that you didn’t want to hear the Good News of God’s grace…of the gifts that He longs to give…of the wonders of life when you follow Him. Have you ever been so discouraged that you grew impatient with people who were trying to tell you about God’s goodness? or who were living with the blessings of God evident in their lives?

I’ve been there. It’s not a happy place. I will never go back again.

When bad things happen in your life, sometimes, you can slide into this mentality. You may not want to hear positive messages because it hurts too much. Perhaps you’ve come to the place where you think, “If I don’t expect anything good to happen, then I won’t be disappointed when I’m right.”

It’s so hard to leave that place once you’ve lived there for a time. As miserable as it is there, it is safe. You know what to expect. Reaching beyond that place is fraught with risk.

But, if you are truly ready to leave that place, you must draw a line in the sand. You must fight to pull yourself out of that quagmire.

It doesn’t seem like it will work. And it will take a time to see things differently…much longer than you feel comfortable with.

But, I promise you, life is so much better after you leave that place.

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Did you know that there is only one thing in this life that you can control? Do you know what it is?

It’s that person you look at in the mirror every morning.

You cannot control world events. You cannot control the weather. You cannot control your hubby…or your kids…or your dear mother-in-law.

But…you can control your reactions to all those things. You can control what hours you are awake and how you use your time while you’re awake. You can control how you take care of yourself: whether you exercise, eat right, get enough sleep (unless, of course, you have a little one deciding this point for you). You can control the things you read, the things you see, the things you think about and focus upon.

So often in my life, I have found myself railing against those things I cannot change. This, as I’m sure you know, is incredibly exhausting and unproductive.

If you’re tired and bogged down, I encourage you to take a few moments to examine your life and assess whether you may be struggling to control things that you really cannot change.

“How do I do this?” you may ask. Well, it’s really not as hard as it may seem. All you need is a pen, a piece of paper (or your journal) and several minutes of uninterrupted time. If you work outside the home, take a few minutes during your lunch break. If you’re a full-time mommy, take blanket outside and sit on the ground while they’re playing near by.

Write at the top of the page: “What is REALLY bugging me about my life right now?”

Then, just begin to write. Don’t censer yourself; just write whatever comes to your mind. Give yourself a good amount of time; at least twenty to thirty minutes of continuous writing. The longer you allow yourself to write, the more effective you’ll find this exercise.

Now, some of you are so conditioned not to complain, this may be a hard exercise for you. If you have a hard time starting, begin by just simply writing, “I don’t know what to write…This is a stupid exercise…There’s nothing wrong with my life…Everything is wrong with my life, where do I start…I never did like that Tamera…” Whatever comes to your mind, just write. Don’t worry about your handwriting or punctuation. This is called stream of consciousness writing. There’s no mystery about it. It is simply writing down every word that comes to your mind as you’re thinking about a specific topic…like “What’s REALLY bugging me about my life right now?”

This is a powerful exercise and if you take the time to do it, you will discover powerful truths concerning how you’re truly feeling about some of the different aspects of your life.

So, I challenge you to “just do it.” It is so easy to read something like this and think, “I bet that would be interesting,” and then go on about your busy life. Put it on your “To Do” list. Purpose to fit it into your schedule some time in the next few days. Don’t put if off.

(This is a reposting from a couple of months ago, but it’s been on my mind again. I encourage you to perform this exercise intermittently. It really helps me to refocus.)

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My friend Cheryl has posted an awesome entry about the difference between being led by the Spirit and being led by your emotions. Pop on over and read her entry, Feelings…Nothing More Than Feelings.

Awesome post!

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Isn’t it wonderful to have children? Isn’t it wonderful to be a homeschool Mom?

My computer is in the corner of my front room and there is a bank of windows that face the south. The sun comes in and bathes the room in natural light…which I love. This afternoon, I’m sitting here at my computer watching my little girls “fly kites” in the front yard.  I’m able to watch them fly kites in the front yard because we homeschool and they’re home with me all day.  It’s so awesome!

Now, they don’t really have kites. What they have are pieces of paper that they have cut out and attached to string. It doesn’t matter to them that their “kites” don’t fly up in the air, they are just having fun running back and forth with the paper trailing behind them in the wind.

It is incredibly windy here today…which is not unusual in North Dakota. And my children have thought of a wonderful way to celebrate the wind instead of curse it. They don’t rail against what they cannot change. Why is it so hard for me to live that way? Luke 18:17 says, “Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child shall in no wise enter therein.” Help me, Father, to receive the kingdom as a little child!

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I love watching birds. I suppose I like nature in general, but I love birds especially. I find that I learn so much from God’s creation.

As in all of God’s creation, there is a great deal of diversity in behavior among the different species of birds, but there is a particular behavior that some species exhibit that I find interesting. Did you know that some bird species, when it’s time for their little ones to leave the nest, start to pull out all the soft fibers and feathers and fur? This leaves only the pokey sticks and it makes the nest uncomfortable for the baby bird which serves to motivate them to leave the nest.

Are you feeling uncomfortable in your nest?

Do you ever have those times when you’re going along in life and things are feeling pretty good; your nest feels comfy. Your family is healthy, everyone is getting along; your marriage is stable; your homeschooling is sailing along; your house is clean; your career is on track…and then, one day, you wake up and it just seems like things are uncomfortable. You readjust a little; perhaps you need to go on a date with your hubby, or one of the children needs a little extra attention; perhaps there’s something you’ve been putting off; a bill you haven’t paid; that closet you need to clean. So, you take care of it. But, the nest is still uncomfortable.

What then?

Might I suggest that this could be a sign that you need to fledge? According to Wikipedia, Fledge is the stage in a young bird’s life when the feathers and wing muscles are sufficiently developed for flight. Could it be that your discomfort is from your Father who is trying to get you to leave the nest by making it just a little bit uncomfortable?

God Bless You!

If you’re feeling uncomfortable, take some time to journal about it in your quiet time. Pray about it and ask God to reveal the underlying cause. He is so faithful to do that for us.

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A few days ago, I encouraged you to spend some time listing the things that are truly bothering you about your life.

Did you do it?

If not, I would encourage you to read Control and perform this exercise.

Once you have your pages written, go back through and re-read them.

(Ideally, a little time should pass between performing this exercise and evaluating the content. It also works best if you do it without a preconceived notion of what you’re going to be doing with the material, so I would encourage you to perform the exercise before you finish reading this.)

Do you see some common threads? Did you make some discoveries that surprised you?

On another piece of paper (or in another page of your journal) make a list of the items you discovered. Look at each item and determine whether you control that thing or not.

If you’re unsure about whether you have control over that item on your list, just ask yourself, “Is there another person involved?” If so, you do not have total control over that item.

There are likely things over which you have no control. Again, you cannot control world events, or natural laws (such as the weather), or another person’s behavior. One way to make these problems less stressful is to change your attitude. You must work to come to a place where you accept what you cannot change. (remember the Serenity Prayer?)

There are likely several items over which you have only partial control. For example, if there is a relationship in your life that is troubled, you do have partial control over that situation. You can control how you feel about that person. You can control how you react to their behavior. You can become proactive in your response to their behavior.

Lastly, it is probable that you have items on your list over which you have total control. If much of your list contains things you can totally control, you are truly blessed.

When you have divided your list into things over which you have no control, things you partially control, and things you totally control; pick a place to start.

Start with the thing that’s really bugging you the most. Or, perhaps you discover a common theme to your list. You may discover your problems separate themselves naturally into different categories than I have suggested here. Remember, this is your list; your life. I am suggesting one way to tackle this list but you may intuitively follow a different trail. That is between you and God.

This is your journey and it begins with one step. Small, deliberate changes can have a big effect in your life.

One year from now, God willing (and He is), you will be a year older. You can determine today (and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow) if you will be a year older with the same problems plaguing your life; or if you will be a year older with some of those problems taken care of.

I want very much to walk with you on this journey. The first edition of my e-zine will be coming out tomorrow and I will be talking about habits. Habits are the smallest units of change. Taking one of the items on your list, breaking it down into something small that you can change, and weaving that new habit into your life is a way that you can become proactive and make profound changes for the better.

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I have spent a great deal of time thinking about when and why true change occurs in a person. When I read, it’s what I notice. Even when I read a novel, I notice how the characters are growing and changing and what factors produce that change. I have read extensively about personality types, relationships, psychology, and parenting; and in everything I read, I am always thinking about what the author says about how and why people change.

This morning (while I was sweating away, red-faced on the treadmill ) I was listening to a podcast of Joyce Meyer who was interviewing John C. Maxwell and Les Parrott, PH.D. John Maxwell said something that filled in a piece of the puzzle for me and I wanted to share it with you.

There are three things that precipitate change in a person.

1. When you hurt enough, you have to change.
2. When you learn enough, you want to change.
3. When you receive enough, you are able to change.

Let’s think about these for a moment.

First of all, “When you hurt enough, you have to change.” This is the reason that I have focused on the most. I had in my head that the only time that people truly change is when they hit bottom and there’s no way out but up. I’ve been there…a couple of times. I understand what it’s like to feel my life was so bad that I needed to make a major change in order to go on. In fact, if you’ve read my blogs, you may have read comments like, “True change occurs when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.”

However, I realize now that the recent changes in my life have not been because of this first reason. My life is awesome right now. Nothing big, bad, and ugly precipitated the changes that began in November of 2006 and have culminated in my writing to you today. I realize that the recent changes in my life have occurred because of reasons two and three. I had learned and received enough that I was willing and able to change.

A few days ago, I wrote about my obsession with reading. (From Learner to Teacher) I take nuggets from nearly every book or article I read, or talk I listen to. I add those tidbits of information to the knowledge I had already acquired, reformulated them and as a result, I have come to this place in my life where I would love to have the opportunity to share all of it with you. That desire is burning in my heart.

A big part of what is spurring me on to write here is the possibility that I could help you change because I helped you learn enough to make you want to change; or because I provided you with enough information that you were able to change.

Can you think of a time when you’ve made significant change in your life? Tell us about it. Click the “comments” button below.

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Have you ever noticed how quickly something can become “old hat?” Perhaps it’s just a personal quirk of mine. (I do tend to live so much in the present that I forget what I had for breakfast, LOL.) But, I am frequently amazed that I cannot easily remember what my life was like before major changes occurred.

I will be married only eight years on the 13th, but, I have already forgotten what it felt like to be single. I have four incredible children and already, I have forgotten what it felt like before I was a mommy. I worked for nearly ten years as a physician, and I have to stop and remind myself what it felt like to work outside the home.

There have also been people who have come into my life and influenced me–not directly, but via their teaching. Andrew Wommack is a big one. I have literally listened to hundreds of hours of his teaching and it has changed my life. Recently, I have been receiving from the ministry of Cindy Rushton and many of the people she is affiliated with.

And, I have been writing here for just a few weeks, and already, sharing my thoughts here seems old hat…like I’ve been doing it all my life…something that fits me and feels so comfy. Now, perhaps that’s not exactly what you think of when you hear the phrase “old hat.” Perhaps you think of something that’s out-dated and out of fashion. But, that’s what I think of, and I have found myself using that phrase over and over again in my life.

What is it about people (or, maybe just me, LOL) that makes us fall so naturally into a new situation? Is it part of how God created us? All animals were created to adapt to their environment. Is it a defense? If we didn’t have that tendency, would we always be looking back?

I think that part of it is my personality. I am a sanguine poster child. I would never have been like Lot’s wife; looking back and grieving over my lost life. (Of course, I may very well have looked back because I was dying of curiosity! )

But, part if it is just human nature. Life often sneaks up on us. We live day after day and before we realize it, we’re in a different place. Often, not a place we purposed to go.

That’s why it’s so incredibly important to live life and not let life live you. Stop and think! Think about your dreams. Write them down. Purpose to walk toward them.

There have been times in my life when I’ve just curled up in a ball and not moved forward at all. There have been times when all I could accomplish was to put one foot in front of the other without regard to where I was going. But, now that I am strong; and now that I have a husband who loves me with all his heart and children that think I’m the cat’s meow (you remember though, they’re only little yet, LOL ); now, I am ready to move forward. I’m ready to walk toward the dream that I have of reaching out and touching others with the experiences I’ve had and the wisdom that God has given me in my 40 years on this planet. (I can say that because I won’t be 41 until next Tuesday, LOL.)

I hope that your life will be changed through something I write here. Perhaps someday, you’ll say, “I can’t remember what my life was like before I ‘met’ Tamera on the internet.”

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“Most of life’s pains come from trying to “hold on” or “freeze” some specific moment in time.” Brook Noel

As an example, losing someone you love is a natural part of life that is painful; whether through death or a break-up; whether you suddenly grow out of a relationship or gradually drift apart. When you grieve for someone who is no longer a part of your life, you’re wanting to “hold on” to what it was like to have that person with you.

My marriage to my first husband was a direct result of wanting to freeze a specific moment in time. I got involved with him because I couldn’t get past that moment my father walked out the door. I was frozen to that moment in time until I finally decided that I had to move on. As it happened, that wasn’t until almost 10 years later!

I often look back and wish that I could reclaim the time I wasted, but I cannot. No one can. I can only learn the lesson that trying to freeze time is impossible…and hurtful.

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