Join Me On the Journey

Offenses come in all sizes, don’t they?

There are the little things: your husband drops your favorite dish, your daughter spills her milk for the third time during dinner, your son rips his last pair of jeans that fit, your teenager forgets to take out the garbage.

There are the heavier, medium-sized packages of failure that hurt a little deeper: your daughter sasses back, your children promise to keep their room clean, and then go back on their promise, you’re expecting a family heirloom and your great aunt gives it to your cousin instead.

Then there are the cumbersome and heaviest of situations that leave you feeling crushed: a divorce, unfaithfulness, an estranged relationship, a rebellious teenager who thinks he is always right, physical or verbal abuse.

How do you deal with the small and the largest of offenses in your life?

First of all, be honest with yourself. When you’re hurt, admit it. Talk to your Heavenly Father about it. He is so faithful. He loves you so much and He wants to be a part of your everyday life.

Father, I know that he didn’t mean to break that dish, but I REALLY LOVED THAT PLATTER!

Lord, I know Aunt Betsy didn’t mean to hurt my feelings, but that tea set meant a lot to me.

Jesus, I don’t even know what to pray, I’m so hurt!

Second, the Scriptures teach that we must forgive others. Forgiveness is not an option in the Christian life. We are commanded to forgive because we have been forgiven.

Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: and be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you. Eph 4:31-32 (KJV)

To forgive someone means you give up the right to punish them. You no longer hold the offense against them. You may still feel the feelings, but you make a decision to forgive anyway. Thank God for His willingness to forgive you, and pray for a heart willing to forgive those who fail you.

But what about when you’ve been deeply hurt?

I have found that when dealing with a major offense, there are some steps that help me get through.

1. Humble yourself and repent for any contribution you had in the offense. Ask God where you were wrong, how you contributed to the situation. Repentance softens your heart and allows God to begin healing it.
2. Forgive out loud before the Lord. Since your heart is already softened, the forgiveness “sticks” better.
3. Pray for that person. Matthew 5:44 says, “But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.”

Forgiveness isn’t always easy, but God would never give a command He didn’t provide the ability to accomplish. That would be unjust.

Look to Him when you are offended and He will heal your heart. He will provide the strength to forgive.

God Bless You on Your Journey

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There are levels of transgressions, aren’t there?

Failures come in different ways, different sizes, different levels.

There are little mistakes: spilling a glass of milk at a meal, stepping accidentally on someone’s foot, dropping a plate to shatter on the floor.

There are bigger infractions: habitually yelling at your child, failing to keep your word, the practice of nagging.

Then, there are the overwhelming violations of trust: infidelity, a defiant child, physical or verbal abuse.

When someone offends us, whether a big or small offense, we are commanded to forgive.

Jesus talked of forgiveness often and Paul summed up forgiveness for us in this wonderful passage:

…be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you. Eph 4:32 (KJV)

Forgive has many meanings:

1. to grant pardon for or remission of (an offense, debt, etc.); absolve.
2. to give up all claim on account of; remit (a debt, obligation, etc.).
3. to grant pardon to (a person).
4. to cease to feel resentment against: to forgive one’s enemies.
5. to cancel an indebtedness or liability of: to forgive the interest owed on a loan.

But, how to forgive—on a simple, day-to-day level—is much more difficult, isn’t it?

To forgive others means we give up the right to punish them. We no longer hold the offenses against them.

Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good. Rom 12:19-21 (KJV)

The first step to forgiveness is acknowledgment. Forgiveness implies change and you cannot change what you do not acknowledge. If you are the offender, it involves confession and asking forgiveness. If you have been offended, and the other person has asked forgiveness, you need to accept that apology.

It can be difficult to forgive when the guilty party has apologized, but what about when you have been offended and the guilty party has not asked forgiveness?

When that happens, you need to take it to God. The Bible does not differentiate between any of these situations. God didn’t say, “Forgive one another after the offending party has asked your forgiveness” or “Forgive when you feel those mushy forgiveness feelings rise up.” It just says, “Forgive!” It’s a commandment.

And, God doesn’t command something that is not possible, for that would be unjust.

Joyce Meyer is fond of saying, “Sometimes you have to do what’s right, even if it doesn’t feel right.” Forgiving someone can be one of those things that doesn’t feel right, but must be done.

Is there someone that you need to forgive today? Pray and search your heart. You can decide to forgive that person. You can overcome your desire to be right. God is faithful.

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I’d like to talk today about the benefits of forgiveness. Have you every thought about who benefits from forgiveness the most? Is it them, or is it you? Sometimes, the person that you are resentful toward isn’t even aware they have offended you. Come to think of it, I wonder how often I have offended someone and wasn’t even aware of it.

As I see it, there are three major benefits of forgiveness.

First of all, forgiveness brings liberty. Have you ever carried a grudge against someone and felt the need to avoid them? Isn’t that an awful feeling when you think to yourself, “I wonder if so-and-so will be there?” and your stomach just twists up in knots. When you learn to forgive, you no longer have to fear coming into contact with that person.

Second, it frees up our relationship with the Father.

Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. Matt 5:21-26 NKJV

These are the words of Jesus, and He is teaching that resentment and strife will interfere with your relationship with God.

Finally, most of you are mothers and some of you are mothers of grown children. Have you ever had two of your children who were estranged? I cannot imagine what that would be like. My children are so young that their spats are quickly mended with a kiss and a tickle from Mommy. But if, when they grow older, something were to happen and two of them held a grudge and wouldn’t speak, or were even to the point where they were uncomfortable around each other, I think it would tear my heart out.

How then must God feel when we hold a grudge against another of His children?

Malachy McCourt said, “Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” Don’t continue to swallow dregs of the poison of resentment. Ask God to show you how to accept His tonic of forgiveness.

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How often has this happened to you? A friend offends you by saying something insensitive. You don’t say anything at the time because first of all, you can’t believe she said it, and second of all, confrontation isn’t your style. But, you go home and stew about it.

You think about it often over the next few days and it grows and grows. “How could she say something like that? Doesn’t she know how much that hurt my feelings?” So, you begin to rehearse what you’re going to say to her. It has just become so important that you HAVE to confront her about it. You rehearse and rehearse; refining exactly what you’ll say; thinking about how she’ll react, how she’ll apologize and you will hug and the two of you will have a good laugh about it later.

You screw up your courage.

The big day comes.

You deliver your speech eloquently (after all, you have practiced it a hundred times), and your friend looks at you and says, “Gee, I didn’t realize that would offend you.” Or, “Gosh, that’s not really what I said.” Or perhaps, “Oh, I didn’t mean for it to come out that way.”

You spent all that time stewing over something that was incidental to your friend; something that she has forgotten all about; something she may not even remember saying or even denies saying.
(read the rest of the article…)

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Did you know that there’s no such word as “unforgiveness?” I have been thinking and writing about unforgiveness for several days now. (I bet you can’t imagine what’s going to be showing up in my blog. ) While I was writing, I noticed that no matter how I spelled unforgiveness, the word was highlighted in my spell-checker. After puzzling over this for a moment, I looked it up at dictionary.com.

“No results found for unforgiveness?” What do you mean no results found?

Finally, my lightnin’-fast mind figured out…unforgiveness is not a real word.
(read the rest of the article…)

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This evening, I would like to share an email that my sister forwarded to me from her sister-in-law.

Theresa writes:

Good morning Ladies:

It has been on my heart the last couple of weeks that Satan is on the attack. I know he always is, roaming everywhere seeking to destroy whatever he can. But I sense him being extremely aggressive lately…maybe not with me…but with many that I love, including some of you.

Well, just as I pray on this, and ask for special protection, along comes a devotional lesson that addresses the subject of what Satan often does to me: he takes something that happens and helps me to blow it up, to wrap me up in lies, and to twist me in such a knot that all I seem to believe is lies about being worthless and the scum of the earth. Even though I am repentant and come to the feet of Jesus to ask for His forgiveness and guidance, I cannot let go of these horrible feelings. Then I completely forget God’s truth — though I am a sinner, He still loves me and want me to be free in his forgiveness!

So, here is Beth Moore’s lesson that reminded me of how valuable I am (and you are) to God: (content from Praying God’s Word Devotional Journal Copyright 2002 Broadman & Holman Publishers Nashville, TN)

He gives us more grace. That is why the Scripture says: “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” James 4:6

Never in all of Scripture did Christ resist the repentant sinner. Indeed, forgiveness is why He came. So, when we approach God in genuine repentance, taking full responsibility for our own sins, our prison doors swing open. Tragically, though, too many of us sit right there for years in our prison cells, living in torment of guilt, feeling unreleased from repetitive sins.

Satan knows that forgiveness leads to freedom, so he takes on the role of tormentor, taunting us with guilt and condemnation. He does everything he can to see to it that we don’t forgive ourselves. But we have God’s promises that our penalty has been paid, our time served, our guilt expunged. We can walk forward in His truth.

Satan can scream and holler all he wants to. We’re free to ignore him.

Father God, thank you for declaring no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death (Romans 8:1-2). Help me to understand that the loving chastisement that might come to me after I have rebelled against You is only in the purest Father’s love and is never to be confused with condemnation (Hebrews 12:6).

My faithful God, if I claim to be without sin, I deceive myself and the truth is not in me. But if I confess my sins, You are faithful and just and will forgive me my sins and purify me from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:8-9).

Maybe this is not you right now. But I know that even though I am in a good place right now as I type this, there is likely to be a time when this will apply to me again. I am working on it, but because I believed Satan’s lies for so long, he knows that my self-worth and the way I view myself (instead of seeing myself through God’s eyes) is a vulnerable spot.

And even though I know I am free, when I do something (and it doesn’t have to be big) I have a hard time forgiving myself and I climb right back into that prison cell. I guess I need to work on believing I am free.

If you know someone this message might help….please pass it on to them.

Have a blessed day!

Theresa

I really appreciated her heart and I thought I would pass this on. I pray you are blessed by it.

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“Most of life’s pains come from trying to “hold on” or “freeze” some specific moment in time.” Brook Noel

As an example, losing someone you love is a natural part of life that is painful; whether through death or a break-up; whether you suddenly grow out of a relationship or gradually drift apart. When you grieve for someone who is no longer a part of your life, you’re wanting to “hold on” to what it was like to have that person with you.

My marriage to my first husband was a direct result of wanting to freeze a specific moment in time. I got involved with him because I couldn’t get past that moment my father walked out the door. I was frozen to that moment in time until I finally decided that I had to move on. As it happened, that wasn’t until almost 10 years later!

I often look back and wish that I could reclaim the time I wasted, but I cannot. No one can. I can only learn the lesson that trying to freeze time is impossible…and hurtful.

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