Join Me On the Journey

Today is my little boy’s birthday! He turns three. I no longer have two two year olds, LOL.

What can I say about my little Josiah except that he is the spitting image of his father…in nearly every way. He looks like his father, he acts like his father.

It’s so funny to live in the area where Dana grew up, because any time we see someone, they will say, “I cannot believe how much he looks like Dana did at that age!” (It happens all the time!) I tell people that I was just the incubator, he’s really a clone.

In 2003-2004, while I was pregnant with Josiah, I was still working and I was having a lot of medical problems. I had been diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis and I was on weekly injections of a medication that was keeping me functioning well enough to work, but that was about it. They didn’t understand why the RA was flaring during pregnancy. (It tends to get better with pregnancy.) Nonetheless, it was not good.

I didn’t realize it, but I was suffering from sleep apnea. (Doctors really are the worst patients! I didn’t share with anyone the extent of the problems I was having; neither did I put two and two together and consciously realize that I was suffering from sleep apnea. DUH!) In the office, I would literally fall asleep standing up while I was dictating an office note after seeing a patient. I know that is so hard to believe, but it’s true.

I was driving back and forth from Jamestown to Kintyre, ND a couple times a week (about 80 miles). I cannot describe how hard it is to drive when you are literally falling asleep at the wheel several times during a trip driving 75 miles per hour down the interstate. I try not to think about the fact that my children were in danger every time I got behind the wheel with them. There were times when I would stop about every 15 or 20 miles and get out and walk around, trying to wake up enough to drive. (Just thinking about it makes me shudder!)

I was working and trying to keep two houses. The girls were in daycare–which I hated. (Good grief! This is depressing!)

Anyway, suffice it to say, things were not going well. I was letting my partners and my patients down because I was struggling so much with medical problems. I was letting my family down because I was spread so thin. And, I didn’t have anything resembling a relationship with God. I don’t know how I ever got through that time except by His Grace.

I had planned to quit in 2005 when Olivia turned five, but I began to realize that there was a very real chance I wouldn’t make it that long…physically, emotionally, or spiritually. Dana and I made the decision that I would quit right before Josiah was born. It was one of the best decisions that we ever made.

Shortly after Josiah was born, I was finally diagnosed with severe sleep apnea. I was placed on CPAP and I have also lost weight which helps as well. I still have a lot of muscle fatigue and joint pain, but I think that the diagnosis of Rheumatoid Arthritis was incorrect. (It is difficult to diagnose RA because there really is not a definitive test for it.) I’m on no medication for the RA and my symptoms are manageable.

I look back to that time in my life and I cannot believe how things have changed. I am a much better wife and mother. I have the time and energy for my family. Dana and I are growing closer. Olivia, Sophia, and I are well down the path of our homeschool journey. I have two beautiful, incredible, active, squealing, squabbling toddlers. And most importantly, my relationship with God is so much better…and getting better every day.

Life is good! I am so happy now. I thank my precious Father for bringing me through that time. I know that He must have carried me. There is no other way I could have survived it.

God Bless You today! I hope that you have a great day. I know that we will. Josiah will be Prince For A Day!

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